The school day can be jam-packed and stimulating. This can affect different children in different ways. After school your child may need some down-time. Unless there is something they are clearly wanting to tell you, when they get home may not be the best time to ask questions or talk about school. Letting them know that you’re happy to see them can be enough. You may simply ask “Is there anything you want me to know about your day?”

Questions often take us into our thinking minds. Many children can benefit from having a break from this at the day’s end. So instead of focusing on talking, your child may appreciate time and space to play or enjoy some of their favourite activities. As the day’s events settle, thoughts and words from the day can begin to bubble-up naturally, without any need for questions or prompts. 

Before the evening meal can be an opportunity to share things everyone is grateful for. This can be simple and brief where each person takes it in turns to say “I am grateful for…”. Some examples: Blue sky, water to drink, a particular friend or family member, the food we are about to eat, butterflies, footballs, home, laughter, a favourite toy or story, shoes, the colour red, computers, ice-cream, holidays, warm jackets, a good day, etc… It can be fun and creative.

Talk about the day may emerge naturally during mealtimes. Family members may be curious about the things people were grateful for and this may initiate some conversation about the day. Parents can model talking about their days which may prompt children to remember their own. Here are some examples of some questions you could explore:

Who made you smile today?

What challenged you today?

What else are you grateful for?

Did anyone push your buttons?

What is the most interesting thing you learned?

Who did you make smile?

What’s something kind you did today?

Is there something you’d like to have done differently?

When did you feel most proud today?

What rule was hardest to follow?

How would you rate your day on a scale of 1 – 10?

What was the hardest part of your day?

Be mindful to listen with openness and curiosity, without judgement or trying to fix or change anything for your child. 

Consider the difference between what you want to know about your child’s day and what they want you to know. 

Rather than asking your child how their day was you could tell them about something from your own day. It may be as simple as “I really enjoyed sitting in the sun at lunch-time today” or “I saw a bird sucking nectar from a flower”….